By Adira Royal
Sometimes reading what the experts say about “Relationships” can be pretty overwhelming. A part of living is communing with loved ones, friends and sharing a sense of commuity. Today this topic hurts me. Hurts me after recognizing the way things are now and how relating has changed for me. I always strive to touch and be touchable. However, I am cognizant of is that the residue of other relational encounters took away a piece of something. It did not enhance, now I find it a great dilemma searching to find the right reciprocating relationships.
The mere fact that my personality thrives in communicative forums and invigorating dialogue. There is mental and verbal stimulation that emerges for me in an intense way. Almost like euphoria when eating my favorite fruit pineapple or mango…. Suddenly, there is a realization that you are overtaken in the moment captivated by the voice, maybe the tone but ultimately the conversation. “Bellisimo” only one person in my life held my undivided attention in this way okay maybe two people. To the degree where all that mattered was what they were saying as I was captivated by every word.
Ladies, or gents have you ever had a moment like this when everything they said is like mango dripping with juicey goodness. Okay, perhaps that’s just me. Moments when you look at them while smiling to yourself. Laughing with them at the movies or during dinner. Discussions would literally erupt into debates and I would Love it! Thinking I wonder what it would be like to get inside their head? Is it as pleasant for them to talk to me as it is for me to hear them. Spending hours with them seemed like minutes, they opened my door, paid for my dinner, wouldn’t allow me to walk alone. My friend not boyfriend. There are times when they cooked or baked they made it their business to bring some to work for me. It is the little things that make you remember what is important. Also these same things that cause you to realize what you do not want to experience again…My thought is that they as a big brother setting the example of what I deserve as a young lady. They shared with me as much as I shared with them. A love affair that fed both of us.
Now not all the occassion would have the flamboyant glimmer of antagonizing communication. However, when in the confines of their home, my home or work it was phenomenal. Literal elation to go to work to see what they were wearing or to hear their voice. Food cook off frenzy and in depth communication. Sex never crossed our minds… Okay, maybe but we never engaged ever. Our friendship meant too much to us. Reminiscent of the moments now thinking of the length of time it took to establish this relationship. In the relationship I always ask what can I bring or contribute to the relationship? Not only romantic but plutonic because there should be contribution not necessarily even distribution but we all have something to offer. My friends that were long lasting listened in those moments that were crucial to me at the time. I did not ever hear the information come back. My friends always motivational interviewed me to get me to understand what decision I needed to make or how the steps in the situation really needed to happen?
It almost appears that in this season of my life I am experiencing new encounters. Situationships, relationships, companionship and more. Allowing myself not just to be available but also to be open to calling on others for their love and companionship. Relations is defined as 1. the way which two or more concepts, objects, or people connected, a thing’s effect on or relevance to another.
2. The way in which two or more people or groups feel about and behave toward each other.
Understanding not everyone has an ability to be relational for various reasons. It is a gift and can be very beneficial in health, emotionally, business and spiritually as well. It would be interesting to find out after the pandemic what is the level of importance when it comes to socialization after the pandemic. Is it as important to some as it was before or less relevant to some.